Easter is a time of renewal in the Christian faith, in pagan faiths, and in nature. Not to be outdone, I'm going through a renewal as well: last month, my position has been abolished, and now I am "vulnerable" (newspeak for being in line to be chopped from the payroll), so I've decided to take this as a growth opportunity.
This all sounds so much like bull. I'm quite anxious (who wouldn't?), but I'm trying to make the best of it and to keep positive.
I've thought a lot about the possibility of staying within my organization. No doubt, opportunities will come up, but would I really want to stay? I gauge that whatever cred I had built up has tanked, my work experience is too broad for what this organization now needs, and it would be better for me to start afresh.
So, where do I begin?
Well, I'm taking inventory of who I *really* am, what I *really* like, and where do I *really* want to go. This might sound so elementary as to be downright stupid, but it's the truth. I've spent so much time and emotional energy tied up in who I *think* I am and how much my identity has been tied to a job that I've had a really hard time of letting go. I've had to ask myself some really basic questions and quite frankly I haven't come up with a lot of answers.
Luckily, I'd kept the name of a consultant our organization had retained during a phase of team building. I sent her an email asking her for career transition help, and she sent me a copy of a newsletter put out by Lynne Robinson (www.lynnrobinson.com), which pretty much summed up my feelings. I was struck by the following quote:
"Between letting go (of the old) and successfully launching the new there is a time of confusion and emptiness. People often feel lost during this time, and too often they interpret that lostness as yet another sign that something is wrong. It is simply a sign that they have entered the fertile chaos of the neutral zone" -- William Bridges
I know I'm right into the "fertile chaos" zone. I can't wait to get out! ;-)
