Long time since last blog...

Wow.

It's been a while (like almost a year) since I last posted. So much has happened since then...

To make a very long story short, I took on a temporary position as a program officer where I work. The job is satisfying, and I'm amazed at how I can stay "on top" of the workload...which might indicate that I'm being under-utilized, but at this point, I'm not complaining. My ego is still hurting from the bruising from last year, and I'm still trying to let go of all the expectations I had for myself in building a career... this sounds like self-absorbed bull****, but it isn't, it's just a kind of awareness and acceptance of what is becoming a new "order" for me. (Gawd, I hate it when words fail me!) So I try to live beyond my illusions (my career...hah!) and am concentrating on the here-and-now.

Speaking of here-and-now, I had a wonderful time working with (on?) the Ottawa Regional Science Fair 2006. A truly fantastic event, well-organized and some wonderfully committed people: Paula, James, Steve, etc. It is really an honor to work with these people.

Another group of people which I hold just as dearly is my group of CWar brethren. I would never have thought that I could have had a relationship with a group of guys playing a game (of all things), but that is about the only way I can describe it: a relationship. After two years of gaming and chatting with Pi, Savageone, Snowdog, Dubber, Wolfie, and the other CWar bruthas, I have a sense of knowing them, if only for their sense of humor, fair play and spontaneity. No doubt someone will (or is doing) research the idea of on-line relationships. I've done my share of analyzing, and I'm more sure now that it exists and no doubt exist elsewhere. Savageone has organized a LAN party that will take place in Indianapolis in June and I'll be going there for 3 days. I'm excited, a little scared, and plenty nervous about finally meeting the real people behind the virtual characters... You can be sure that I'll blog this when the time comes!

That's all for now...

Of kids and basketball shoes....

My kids amaze me. Here’s the story…

Colin got himself a pair of very stylish Kelly green “Dada Triple Double” basketball shoes that he bought off the web. (Check Amazon.com and do a search on “Dada Triple Double” under “Sports and Outdoors.”) Not expensive, but as Colin put it, he’s probably the only kid in Nepean that has shoes like that… ;-)

On the other hand, Marc has been exploring the counter-culture. He got a subscription to Adbusters, and looked at buying some Blackspot sneakers . Marc would almost certainly be the only kid in Nepean to have shoes like that, but for a different reason…

Talk about going from one extreme to the other! I can’t wait for what happens next.

Oh, and by the way, feel free to comment on my posts. (I know who you are!)

One difference between Canada and the United States

Another article which got my dander up: The American government takes another step to increase research funding. Here's an excerpt:

"Rep. Frank Wolf (R-VA) has sent a letter to President George Bush asking him 'to develop the necessary consensus that will ensure America will remain the world’s leader in innovation' by a 'tripling [of] the innovation budget - federal basic research and development - over the next decade.' Wolf is the chairman of the newly-formed House Science, State, Justice and Commerce and Related Agencies Appropriations Subcommittee. "

Argh. Would we see a bill like that coming from one of our federal MPs? Never in a million years.

The long tail

I came across an interesting article in the on-line edition of Wired Magazine, entitled “The Long Tail,” by Chris Anderson. He writes: “Forget squeezing millions from a few megahits at the top of the charts. The future of entertainment is in the millions of niche markets at the shallow end of the bitstream.” Read it and be enlightened; it’s a great article.

About aortic stenosis and a rant...

Good news! My echocardiogram results came back and showed no significant difference from 6 months ago...which means open-heart surgery has been delayed by at least another 6 months... ;-)

My cardiologist's only recommendations: Lower your blood pressure (134/70ish) even more by decreasing caffeine intake and shedding more pounds. My goal is to lose 10 pounds and get to 159 within the next few months. But I'm not ready to go to the extremes that Dick has, I don't have his willpower... :-D

Finally, I've been contacted to enquire whether I'd be willing to take part in a study on reducing serum cholesterol in an effort to delay the progression of aortic stenosis which I was born with. The research is conducted at the Ottawa Heart Institute and is funded in part through the Canadian Institutes of Health Research (CIHR) (www.cihr.gc.ca). Details of the study are found at:

http://webapps.cihr-irsc.gc.ca/pls/funding/detail_e?pResearchId=375685&p_version=CIHR&p_language=E&p_session_id=84925

I haven't decided yet on whether I'll take part. More later.


My rant: I got this in my e-mail a few days ago.

"High profile Members of the House and Senate [in the U.S.] have introduced legislation providing financial incentives for undergraduate study in mathematics, science or engineering. Under this legislation, the federal government would pay the interest on student loans for undergraduates agreeing to teach science, technology, engineering or mathematics in elementary or secondary schools or who work as a professional in these fields for five years."

Unbelievable. Canada's waaay behind in fostering home-grown S&T talent, especially in kids. The Americans realize that they need to ramp up their S&T capability by getting more kids turned on to science, and though this proposed legislation, are willing to *put into a law* the means of rewarding young people who choose a science career. Things certainly have changed since I was a kid - I just wish that our politicians had the vision to do something similar. *Sigh.*

For more on this, see FYI Number 61: April 27, 2005 (http://www.aip.org/fyi/2005/061.html)

re: Work, 1984, writing, and instant messaging...

All is quiet on the work front. I’ve decided not to pay attention to my anxieties for a while and to simply delight in working well and getting my own job done. It’s such a relief not having to manage other people and having to sort out HR problems: instead, I concentrate on my work and take absolute delight in crossing things off my list. Enough for now.

I recently watched “1984” starring Richard Burton (in his last role) and John Hurt (see http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087803/ ) . It’s an excellent film, which captures the mood and imagery of Orwell’s dystopic novel, written in 1948.

It got me thinking about the things that I find satisfying in my job. I realize I love to write. It’s a paradox, because I find it’s the hardest thing to do. It is sooo hard to put a feeling, an observation, a description into just the right words. I’m continually amazed at how some writers or novelists have the ability to capture and put into words a thought or feeling.

I stumbled on the article “Why I Write” by Orwell while I was researching his writings. It might also explain why one should write, or pursue any kind of activity that one thinks is worthwhile. It’s worth a read. You’ll find the article here: http://www.online-literature.com/orwell/897/

I was rather taken by some articles I saw on “WIRED” mag’s online edition. One is on how the French have embraced “blogging”. Apparently, French is the most common language in the blogosphere after English, but I wonder what proportion of the French is taken up by French-speaking Canadians and Québécois… ;-) Peut-être je devrais commencer à bloguer (?) en français, mais j’ai peur de faire trop d’erreures…

See "Vive les blogs!"
http://wired-vig.wired.com/news/culture/0,1284,67273,00.html


Which brings me to another subject: watching my kids chat with their friends on-line through instant messaging (IM). It made me think about some articles which I read in the media recently on the effects of IM on the development of language and writing. (I can’t be bothered to reference everything, after all, this is a blog, not an research article.) As far as I can tell, there is no conclusion on whether extensive IM is good/bad, but I take heart in this WIRED article on a researcher making a presentation at the annual meeting of the American Academy for the Advancement of Science (AAAS; www.aaas.org) this past February.

See “Web not the death of language” :
http://wired-vig.wired.com/news/culture/0,1284,66671,00.html

As a side-bar to this, here is a guide to the emerging language of “leetspeak” that is used in IM:

Microsoft’s guide to "leetspeak"
http://www.microsoft.com/athome/security/children/kidtalk.mspx

L8R, d00d !

Another update....

I haven't written anything over the past few days since things have been quite busy.

This past Saturday, I took art in the Ottawa Regional Science Fair (www.orsf.ca) as a judge. I really enjoyed the experience of seeing kids who were enthusiastic about science and math, and who clearly knew their stuff. We're not talking about sodium-bicarb volcanoes here: we're talking "discovery" and "innovation" the way it's described at NSERC. I was really impressed by 3 projects, all done by girls (in fact, I estimate that about 70% of the projects were by girls, and none of the projects I judged (a dozen) were done by boys. Sign of a trend?

I got into a heated discussion with one of the university profs over one of the projects. She argued that the project didn't have the correct experimental protocol; I argued that for these kids, it was about an innovative spirit. I wound up conceding, since the experimental protocol was weak, but I felt like I hadn’t stood my ground. I can understand now how difficult funding decisions are made, and I really felt like I wanted to learn how these questions get resolved in funding committee meetings.

I’m less inclined now to try and leave my existing workplace because I realize that I’m missing the “depth” of the work that our funding agency is engaged in. I had a meeting with my boss, and she indicated (based on feedback from my previous work in Communications) that I lacked focus and I was too easily distracted by “crises”, and that I’d be better off working in a more structured environment.

I hate to agree with her, but she is right. I’ve come to realize that, at least for the present, I don’t have what it takes to supervise a number of people, make hard HR decisions, work out a large plan or implement a substantial project. I realize that, in my Communications job, I’d over-reached the limit of what I could do well and crossed the line from competence to incompetence. I might sound harsh, but I think I’m realistic. And now I struggle with the question: Do I accept my limitations, do I accept who I think I am, or do I try to stretch my abilities to try to become someone I’m not?

Talk about existential questions… stay tuned!