Of kids and basketball shoes....

My kids amaze me. Here’s the story…

Colin got himself a pair of very stylish Kelly green “Dada Triple Double” basketball shoes that he bought off the web. (Check Amazon.com and do a search on “Dada Triple Double” under “Sports and Outdoors.”) Not expensive, but as Colin put it, he’s probably the only kid in Nepean that has shoes like that… ;-)

On the other hand, Marc has been exploring the counter-culture. He got a subscription to Adbusters, and looked at buying some Blackspot sneakers . Marc would almost certainly be the only kid in Nepean to have shoes like that, but for a different reason…

Talk about going from one extreme to the other! I can’t wait for what happens next.

Oh, and by the way, feel free to comment on my posts. (I know who you are!)

One difference between Canada and the United States

Another article which got my dander up: The American government takes another step to increase research funding. Here's an excerpt:

"Rep. Frank Wolf (R-VA) has sent a letter to President George Bush asking him 'to develop the necessary consensus that will ensure America will remain the world’s leader in innovation' by a 'tripling [of] the innovation budget - federal basic research and development - over the next decade.' Wolf is the chairman of the newly-formed House Science, State, Justice and Commerce and Related Agencies Appropriations Subcommittee. "

Argh. Would we see a bill like that coming from one of our federal MPs? Never in a million years.

The long tail

I came across an interesting article in the on-line edition of Wired Magazine, entitled “The Long Tail,” by Chris Anderson. He writes: “Forget squeezing millions from a few megahits at the top of the charts. The future of entertainment is in the millions of niche markets at the shallow end of the bitstream.” Read it and be enlightened; it’s a great article.

About aortic stenosis and a rant...

Good news! My echocardiogram results came back and showed no significant difference from 6 months ago...which means open-heart surgery has been delayed by at least another 6 months... ;-)

My cardiologist's only recommendations: Lower your blood pressure (134/70ish) even more by decreasing caffeine intake and shedding more pounds. My goal is to lose 10 pounds and get to 159 within the next few months. But I'm not ready to go to the extremes that Dick has, I don't have his willpower... :-D

Finally, I've been contacted to enquire whether I'd be willing to take part in a study on reducing serum cholesterol in an effort to delay the progression of aortic stenosis which I was born with. The research is conducted at the Ottawa Heart Institute and is funded in part through the Canadian Institutes of Health Research (CIHR) (www.cihr.gc.ca). Details of the study are found at:

http://webapps.cihr-irsc.gc.ca/pls/funding/detail_e?pResearchId=375685&p_version=CIHR&p_language=E&p_session_id=84925

I haven't decided yet on whether I'll take part. More later.


My rant: I got this in my e-mail a few days ago.

"High profile Members of the House and Senate [in the U.S.] have introduced legislation providing financial incentives for undergraduate study in mathematics, science or engineering. Under this legislation, the federal government would pay the interest on student loans for undergraduates agreeing to teach science, technology, engineering or mathematics in elementary or secondary schools or who work as a professional in these fields for five years."

Unbelievable. Canada's waaay behind in fostering home-grown S&T talent, especially in kids. The Americans realize that they need to ramp up their S&T capability by getting more kids turned on to science, and though this proposed legislation, are willing to *put into a law* the means of rewarding young people who choose a science career. Things certainly have changed since I was a kid - I just wish that our politicians had the vision to do something similar. *Sigh.*

For more on this, see FYI Number 61: April 27, 2005 (http://www.aip.org/fyi/2005/061.html)

re: Work, 1984, writing, and instant messaging...

All is quiet on the work front. I’ve decided not to pay attention to my anxieties for a while and to simply delight in working well and getting my own job done. It’s such a relief not having to manage other people and having to sort out HR problems: instead, I concentrate on my work and take absolute delight in crossing things off my list. Enough for now.

I recently watched “1984” starring Richard Burton (in his last role) and John Hurt (see http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0087803/ ) . It’s an excellent film, which captures the mood and imagery of Orwell’s dystopic novel, written in 1948.

It got me thinking about the things that I find satisfying in my job. I realize I love to write. It’s a paradox, because I find it’s the hardest thing to do. It is sooo hard to put a feeling, an observation, a description into just the right words. I’m continually amazed at how some writers or novelists have the ability to capture and put into words a thought or feeling.

I stumbled on the article “Why I Write” by Orwell while I was researching his writings. It might also explain why one should write, or pursue any kind of activity that one thinks is worthwhile. It’s worth a read. You’ll find the article here: http://www.online-literature.com/orwell/897/

I was rather taken by some articles I saw on “WIRED” mag’s online edition. One is on how the French have embraced “blogging”. Apparently, French is the most common language in the blogosphere after English, but I wonder what proportion of the French is taken up by French-speaking Canadians and Québécois… ;-) Peut-être je devrais commencer à bloguer (?) en français, mais j’ai peur de faire trop d’erreures…

See "Vive les blogs!"
http://wired-vig.wired.com/news/culture/0,1284,67273,00.html


Which brings me to another subject: watching my kids chat with their friends on-line through instant messaging (IM). It made me think about some articles which I read in the media recently on the effects of IM on the development of language and writing. (I can’t be bothered to reference everything, after all, this is a blog, not an research article.) As far as I can tell, there is no conclusion on whether extensive IM is good/bad, but I take heart in this WIRED article on a researcher making a presentation at the annual meeting of the American Academy for the Advancement of Science (AAAS; www.aaas.org) this past February.

See “Web not the death of language” :
http://wired-vig.wired.com/news/culture/0,1284,66671,00.html

As a side-bar to this, here is a guide to the emerging language of “leetspeak” that is used in IM:

Microsoft’s guide to "leetspeak"
http://www.microsoft.com/athome/security/children/kidtalk.mspx

L8R, d00d !

Another update....

I haven't written anything over the past few days since things have been quite busy.

This past Saturday, I took art in the Ottawa Regional Science Fair (www.orsf.ca) as a judge. I really enjoyed the experience of seeing kids who were enthusiastic about science and math, and who clearly knew their stuff. We're not talking about sodium-bicarb volcanoes here: we're talking "discovery" and "innovation" the way it's described at NSERC. I was really impressed by 3 projects, all done by girls (in fact, I estimate that about 70% of the projects were by girls, and none of the projects I judged (a dozen) were done by boys. Sign of a trend?

I got into a heated discussion with one of the university profs over one of the projects. She argued that the project didn't have the correct experimental protocol; I argued that for these kids, it was about an innovative spirit. I wound up conceding, since the experimental protocol was weak, but I felt like I hadn’t stood my ground. I can understand now how difficult funding decisions are made, and I really felt like I wanted to learn how these questions get resolved in funding committee meetings.

I’m less inclined now to try and leave my existing workplace because I realize that I’m missing the “depth” of the work that our funding agency is engaged in. I had a meeting with my boss, and she indicated (based on feedback from my previous work in Communications) that I lacked focus and I was too easily distracted by “crises”, and that I’d be better off working in a more structured environment.

I hate to agree with her, but she is right. I’ve come to realize that, at least for the present, I don’t have what it takes to supervise a number of people, make hard HR decisions, work out a large plan or implement a substantial project. I realize that, in my Communications job, I’d over-reached the limit of what I could do well and crossed the line from competence to incompetence. I might sound harsh, but I think I’m realistic. And now I struggle with the question: Do I accept my limitations, do I accept who I think I am, or do I try to stretch my abilities to try to become someone I’m not?

Talk about existential questions… stay tuned!

Some small progress...

So, today I met with some of our HR people and it turns out that taking a buyout package is not without its costs. Yeah, sure, it might look like these so-called fat-cat public servants seem to have nice buy out packages, but then, one has to look at loss of benefits (medical, dental, death benefit, etc) not to mention "going back to zero" when it comes to building up vacation time, medical leave, etc., which all disappears when you go to a different employer. (Do I really want to go back to a two-week vacation per year? Ugh...) More stuff to think about before I decide that the umbilical cord should be cut...

I also had a chat with a consultant who worked with me during our teambuilding exercise. I asked about the possibility of doing some personality tests (values, interests) to see how much change the last time I had some done 15 years ago. We've lined up a meeting for next week to discuss some options.

In a funny parallel, my eldest son is going through a career-orientation exercise though his school. He interviewed me on workplace questions, and it made me realize the great deal of diversity of jobs I had held. I realized that I was a "jack-of-all-trades", I was master of none... and that I figure my workplace has outgrown me, and may be selecting for staff who have much more specialized training in certain areas than my résumé can provide. So now I'm tring to revamp my CV so that it better summarizes the variety of things I have done, and I'll research what young/small organization might benefit from my talents.

Easter and new beginnings...

Easter is a time of renewal in the Christian faith, in pagan faiths, and in nature. Not to be outdone, I'm going through a renewal as well: last month, my position has been abolished, and now I am "vulnerable" (newspeak for being in line to be chopped from the payroll), so I've decided to take this as a growth opportunity.

This all sounds so much like bull. I'm quite anxious (who wouldn't?), but I'm trying to make the best of it and to keep positive.

I've thought a lot about the possibility of staying within my organization. No doubt, opportunities will come up, but would I really want to stay? I gauge that whatever cred I had built up has tanked, my work experience is too broad for what this organization now needs, and it would be better for me to start afresh.

So, where do I begin?

Well, I'm taking inventory of who I *really* am, what I *really* like, and where do I *really* want to go. This might sound so elementary as to be downright stupid, but it's the truth. I've spent so much time and emotional energy tied up in who I *think* I am and how much my identity has been tied to a job that I've had a really hard time of letting go. I've had to ask myself some really basic questions and quite frankly I haven't come up with a lot of answers.

Luckily, I'd kept the name of a consultant our organization had retained during a phase of team building. I sent her an email asking her for career transition help, and she sent me a copy of a newsletter put out by Lynne Robinson (www.lynnrobinson.com), which pretty much summed up my feelings. I was struck by the following quote:

"Between letting go (of the old) and successfully launching the new there is a time of confusion and emptiness. People often feel lost during this time, and too often they interpret that lostness as yet another sign that something is wrong. It is simply a sign that they have entered the fertile chaos of the neutral zone" -- William Bridges

I know I'm right into the "fertile chaos" zone. I can't wait to get out! ;-)

In the beginning...

Well, there had to be a beginning, right? So here I am, blogging.

This is really a test. Let's see where this goes.